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i'm jesus.
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have you ever gotten to that certain point in the school year where you just


Ah, yes. The second day.

(via ruinedchildhood)

http://hoechlined.tumblr.com/post/97719496075/hoechlined-so-i-put-an-ad-in-the-paper-in-which →


so i put an ad in the paper in which i offer to babysit kids and this guy just messaged me and told me he’s a single dad and whether it’s possible for me to spend the night sometimes and he’d really like to integrate me into the family and i was like hELL YEAH NO PROBLEM i’m good…


one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat

(Source: mitchkaplan, via trust)


why do girls have fake pockets when guys can fit a laptop in theirs 

(Source: himelistic, via dutchster)


im glad i have a tumblr so i can see the same four posts a thousand times on my dashboard

(via trust)


what the fuck do fish do for fun

(Source: beeblejuice, via trust)


team rocket throw some mad shade

(Source: tangletots, via ptchutheninja)


when will the lies end, kevin?

(Source: thehausucat, via lohanthony)


tripped and fell in my heelys jesus take the wheelys

(via trust)

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